Danish CS:GO star Kristian ‘k0nfig’ Wienecke details his journey to recovery and self-improvement after being within the limelight for the incorrect reasons as he aims to locate a fresh group for 2023.
“I’m ready to return,” k0nfig says with assurance.
He appears relaxed and quite happy with where he’s at this time, a sharp comparison to just how he felt simply two months ago following the terrible experience that saw him worry for their life. The moon boot protecting their fractured right ankle — which he’ll nevertheless need certainly to wear for the next six months — could be the only thing giving out which he had been associated with a scuffle with a nightclub promoter in Malta, where he had been contending together with his then group, Astralis, in ESL professional League Season 16.
The incident are priced at him their spot on Astralis’ group, which missed him within the European RMR competition and unsurprisingly did not be eligible for the IEM Rio significant. In addition forced him to appear inwards and fight their demons.
It just isn’t the very first time k0nfig has already established to manage as much as such a battle. Early in the day in his job, he had been held straight back by their outsized character and work ethic, struggling to recognize the potential that many had observed in him as he burst on the scene in 2015. “The tragedy of k0nfig” had been just how Duncan ‘Thorin’ Shields described their job in a 2019 article posted on Dexerto, prompting an emotional reaction through the player. “i’ve been a bad expert and spent my hours incorrect,” k0nfig published on Twitter at that time. “i’ve been an arrogant idiot thinking every thing would come easy which it never ever will. It’s extremely sad it has now reached this aspect before We knew it. We won’t look one other means any longer and attempt to conceal. This Is Certainly my return.”
On the top, it would likely seem like k0nfig has relapsed and gone back once again to bad practices, but he insists that’s perhaps not the way it is. “If you place those two durations close to one another, i assume it could feel a small amount of exactly the same,” he states. “But I don’t think my mindset, my focus, or my drive to relax and play the overall game will be the means these were in those days. Personally I think such as the arrogance therefore the items that made me personally a negative teammate have actually disappeared from my life.”
k0nfig says that he’s switching their situation around by using a psychologist he views 2 to 3 times per week. He could be continuing the entire process of individual development that began years back, during their time on Dignitas and North, as he appears to “tweak the small items that make me personally a worse individual than i do want to be.”
He adds: “I would like to be a perfectionist in being good teammate and good man toward everybody. You can find constantly what to focus on, and that’s exactly what I’m doing appropriate now.”
I have quit ingesting and I also’m chatting to a psychologist weekly to have straight back on the right track and also be whom i truly have always been. I am sincerely sorry for my actions and I also feel therefore disgusted by my personal actions. It is like i am simply going much deeper and deeper.I’m likely to turn this around now.
— Kristian Wienecke (@k0nfig) October 18, 2022
In that journey of introspection, he additionally dug deeply to the root factors behind another altercation that got him in some trouble. At IEM Cologne, a month ahead of the scuffle in Malta, he had been reportedly intoxicated and behaved aggressively toward ESL broadcast talent and resort staff, with authorities called to your scene.
“Drinking positively causes one thing in me,” he says. “When I’m too drunk and I also occur to result in a predicament where personally i think embarrassed or i’m that some body has been doing one thing if you ask me, we have actually psychological. If We don’t take in hard alcohol, like whiskey, We don’t get those emotions.
“So I made the decision that the greatest option would be to prevent ingesting and being up super late. To tell the truth, you don’t get that much from ingesting anyhow. it is simply a safe haven to flee true to life. And I also need certainly to face true to life to evolve into someone else. That’s exactly what I’m wanting to do. I’m gonna simply take my entire life in a far more expert way and take into account the circumstances i will be in and also the individuals We am with.”
For some time, k0nfig had been perhaps one of the most talked-about players within the CS:GO scene for the incorrect reasons as he saw a few of their darkest moments dissected in public places over multiple news tales, every one revealing simply a tad bit more about those episodes.
k0nfig thinks that just how the news portrayed their behavior in those two incidents had not been completely proper, though he admits there was some regret in calling Jaxon’s report in regards to the Malta altercation “mostly BS” without also describing that which wasn’t accurate about it.
“I shouldn’t have written ‘mostly bulls**t’ but ‘a small misunderstanding,’” he states now. “It undoubtedly felt like they attempted to compose me personally because the aggressor. Used to do something amiss, nonetheless it wasn’t like the way they published within the article. Therefore yeah, we be sorry a bit, truthfully. I ought to have now been a little more available. We felt it was unneeded for me personally in the future down and tell my part for the tale since it had been simply therefore overwhelming for me personally as an individual.
“The event that occurred in Cologne had been simply me personally getting too drunk. It’s a weird situation since it felt want it may have effortlessly been prevented after which it escalated into one thing it shouldn’t have, therefore the news will probably compose it want it’s some massive thing that took place. One other man and I also talked it away and consented that people can nevertheless talk to one another, laugh, and present one another fist bumps and things like that.”
k0nfig is decided to go on from those episodes and become “a expert player at all times” as he appears to have their job straight back on the right track. “Everyone makes errors. Mine had been simply general public. It absolutely hurt. I Simply want to get back once again to centering on Counter-Strike rather than make errors in my own very own life.”
Leaving Astralis
“I mean-”
k0nfig pauses for some moments as he considers how exactly to react.
The concern had been whether he had been amazed he had been dismissed by Astralis in the aftermath for the Malta scuffle.
Reactions to their launch dropped into two camps. There have been people who considered that k0nfig deserved to be shown the entranceway after being associated with altercations, certainly one of which possibly are priced at their group an area during the significant. But as well, some argued that, by dismissing k0nfig, Astralis weren’t providing certainly one of their most prized assets the help and rehabilitation he needed.
In announcing k0nfig’s departure, Astralis stated that both events had “agreed on a cancellation” for the agreement. Kasper Hvidt, Director of Sports at Astralis, explained it was required to offer k0nfig “space and time [to recover] with no constant stress of getting to have straight back and play.”
In truth, nonetheless, k0nfig apparently had little say within the matter.
“I had been just a little bit amazed, to tell the truth,” he notes. “i must say i desired to participate the group when I got some assistance and my base had been healed. But we additionally comprehend their choice to allow me get since it’s difficult for me personally to have back in a group when I allow them to straight down like this, ahead of the significant qualifier.
“I positively genuinely believe that your decision had been created by the business. We don’t think it had been created by the players.”
k0nfig states he exchanged brief communications along with his teammates following the event and they had been all really supportive of him.
“They desired to want me personally best of luck utilizing the surgeries,” he claims. “I admire everybody in the group. I think they’re actually good guys. They said they’re sorry that I’m perhaps not finding its way back for them.”
k0nfig invested almost per year with Astralis after signing utilizing the company in November 2021 alongside their Complexity teammate and compatriot Benjamin ‘blameF’ Bremer. They arrived during a transition duration for a group which had lost Nicolai ‘device’ Reedtz earlier that 12 months and had been attempting to begin a fresh period as Peter ‘dupreeh’ Rasmussen, Emil ‘Magisk’ Reif and Danny ‘zonic’ Sørensen had been additionally on the means out.
The very first impressions had been impressive as Astralis put third during the BLAST Premier Fall Final, in Copenhagen, nonetheless it went downhill after that. A semi-final run at IEM Cologne 2022 had been one of many few elite tournaments where in actuality the group been able to achieve the playoffs. At PGL significant Antwerp, they are able to not really exceed the Challenger Stage.
Individually, k0nfig’s form suffered from peaks and falls. In a few tournaments, he had been the team’s second celebrity and also the major wingman to blameF; in other people, he struggled to also upload above-average numbers.
This ‘s the reason, k0nfig explains, that he unveiled within the summer time he have been “mentally up and down”. He states it was difficult for him to locate persistence in their game and develop self-confidence in a group where he had been constantly the main one who’d to get answers to unlock games — pointing to your battles skilled by the AWPers, Philip ‘Lucky’ Ewald after which Asger ‘Farlig’ Jensen.
“I think there was clearly a small amount of misunderstanding of functions inside the team,” he claims. “We had too numerous protective players, and so I had to accomplish one thing aggressive on a regular basis. Not To Mention, our AWPers had difficulty, Farlig and in addition Happy.
“I felt like I’d to accomplish more material for the group than really targeting myself. I’d to take risks. We felt like once I had bad games, opponents had been simply shutting me right down to avoid me personally stepping into good circumstances. Additionally the remaining portion of the group had been a bit too passive for me personally to get involved with good roles. Then when i acquired power down in games, it felt want it had been simply a passive team.”
There had been a specific feeling of irony that Astralis re-signed Nicolai ‘device’ Reedtz after k0nfig had been gone. The Danish AWPer, who’s coming back from per year far from action because of psychological state reasons, is precisely the type of player k0nfig wished he’d by their part during their time in the group to simply take a few of the load away from him.
It had been the 2nd amount of time in k0nfig’s job he had missed a potential career-defining moment. The very first was in 2018, as he ended up being on Astralis’ shortlist to participate the group after Markus ‘Kjaerbye’ Kjærbye’s unexpected departure. In the long run, zonic picked Magisk after being kept unimpressed by k0nfig’s mindset through the meeting procedure. That group continued to determine a dynasty.
“It is like I’m starting tripwires to produce things harder for me,” he says. “It is like each and every time I’m close to using success, I’m stumbling over one thing, making a blunder and doing one thing stupid.
“I’ve been conversing with my psychologist about changing my views and exactly how we act in circumstances where there’s the likelihood that we screw up. We’ve been speaing frankly about the way I should think more about my entire life, concentrate on experiencing good and being pleased, and take away the circumstances where i could make errors. And additionally share my truthful viewpoint. That’s important for me personally too.
“I’ve positively been starting tripwires for myself, but I’m gradually taking them down.”
Despite the truth that their Astralis tenure finished on a sour note, k0nfig doesn’t shut the entranceway on a return to your group, be it now or sometime as time goes on. He states that dev1ce’s return alone will perhaps not fix every thing and that the group will nevertheless require some body the same as him to go back to your top.
“It’s positively unfortunate that we missed down on that possibility, but i believe that there’s nevertheless an easy method for me personally to grind and possibly have the chance to once more,” he states. “I don’t genuinely believe that the entranceway is closed. Personally I Think such as the home continues to be open.”
“I understand it could seem a little funny, but getting kicked by Astralis has ignited a fire in me personally. If You Have the sensation within you that you simply wish to let it go and stop, after which you recognize that isn’t exactly what life is intended become for you personally, you then have the inspiration at its greatest.”
If they invited him back now, would he simply take the offer?
“I think i might, in all honesty,” he states. “I nevertheless believe that Astralis is a great group. They’ve done this numerous nutrients for me personally as a person and as a new player. We feel like i could forgive as well as can forgive aswell. We all have been grown-ups. Often errors happen, both from my end and theirs.
“So yes, I’d be able to forgive and forget.”
Returning to action
Regardless of just how much k0nfig wants to own another opportunity with Astralis, he won’t stay straight back and wait for phone to band. He’s currently using the actions to jump straight back, playing FACEIT pugs, Deathmatch, surf maps and KZ daily to help keep his abilities razor-sharp with a view to time for competition as soon as the year begins in 2023.
He was approached by lots of groups and companies, but he’ll wait a while before deciding on their future as he waits to get more provides in the future. He states he’s got no choice between a Danish team or a worldwide task, saying that their concern is to look for a team of players with who he is able to build a rapport — something which had been a little lacking on Astralis, where he states he hardly ever really felt in the home.
“I would like to participate a well-built group where personally i think like we belong, with five players who are dynamic together,” he says. “I would like to believe that there’s a friendship between teammates through the get-go and it’s a home for me personally. You realize, like whenever you join the host or whenever you’re in a tournament and you simply wish to attain the exact same things. That’s exactly what I want.”
k0nfig says he has got the blessing of their psychologist to start out trying to find a group and compete once more, but that doesn’t suggest the conclusion for the treatment sessions. “I’m nevertheless likely to make use of her as a rock to have the remainder away from my system,” he claims, challenging any group that doubts their resolve and state of mind to reach out.
“I wish to play,” he states. “i’m like my entire life, now, could be the perfect situation. I’ve smudged. I’ve forgiven [myself]. We positively genuinely believe that it is the proper call.”
k0nfig is set to exhibit he has navigated this barrier in their life and it is dedicated to self-improvement in their individual life. He wishes their game to end up being the only thing he’s understood for and allow other things, the outside-the-game antics, the bad rap, therefore the interruptions, within the previous.
Inside the host, he additionally thinks that he’s nevertheless evolving. Oozing their trademark self-confidence, he states he nevertheless seems during the top of their specific capabilities.
“I don’t think i will be past my prime,” he claims. “I nevertheless think i could outplay everybody and take over the server,” he claims. “i’m like i’ve perhaps not yet get to be the player i do want to be. Needless to say, being within the top 20 HLTV player ranking once more is actually good separately, but we would also like to show that I am able to enhance groups making them a much better product. I wish to win tournaments, therefore there’s a whole lot that I wish to achieve.”